Yesterday, I spent the day with the girl above. A 18 year old girl from Brasil who came to sweden not so long ago. She is going to be here for a year, Au Pair. She only speaks portuguese so we sat and translated trough google translate for like seven hours just talking. It was really fun, especially when the translating went wrong all the time and everything went crazy. Loads of laughs troughout the day. One time I should ask if I could photograph her, I asked if I could shoot her... Google Translate can cost people's lifes. ;)

It's really fun getting to know her, and how it is there in Brasil. She showed me loads of pictures and told me about life there. Everything seems to be different there. For starters, she lives just by the beach. I wish I could go there and see how it is. Someday. 

While I found this pictures, I also found some footage from when I was in Denmark with my family 2006. Such a beautiful place. I remember when we was on our way to the boat home, and we stopped and got out and walked. I can't remember why, but I guess it was for some good reason. And after a while we found the most beautiful place, like a desert. We walked and jumped in the sandbanks which had the most soft and beautiful sand I've seen. We flied down the hills. And everytime we got over one, we expected to see the ocean, but it was just more sand. Eventually, we saw the ocean far away.

Wish I could go back...

i really don't like sweden, i really don't. frankly i hate it, and that i can say without any lying. now it's five months of snow, darkness, and a colorless world and i can't handle it much longer. i want to leave this world, and enter a new one. i don't want to live here. i want to go far, far away and never go back. to a place where the sun is shining and you can be happy. i think i was born in the wrong place. i don't feel at home here and i can't wait to leave, and that's not what home should feel like. all the things i like, is elsewere. my biggest dream is to travel, dive, live near the ocean, see whales, dolphins. thats the stuff which makes me happy when i'm feeling down, just by thinking of them. 

i want to experience different cultures. different people from the one here in sweden. i still want to take the first flight somewhere far away like i did months ago. i still think i was born on the wrong place, like something went wrong and i'm not suppost to be here. but out there i am, somewhere. i don't travel much now, barely anything. when i was four or five years old my family and i went to greece with relatives and that is the only time i really went somewhere, and i don't even remember it. sure, we have visited danmark a few times, but for me, that doesn't count. 

i just want to leave. but i can't. i'm stuck. depressed. i hate sweden.

made with: newspaper, marker pen & sticky tape.

- E. E. Cumming

It is moments like this I regret I didn't buy the canon eos 7d. Now I really wanna start filming. Like crazy. So many ideas, so inspired. I looked back on some photos that was still left on some CDs and I found some clips I shoot, and I thought it would be fun to make a video. All the pictures are taken with an increadibly crappy digital camera (even if some, surprisingly, looks good). The camera was really shitty, and it didn't even have a focus build in, but I loved it so much anyway. And here is some pictures and videos from 2007, I was 11 years old at the time.

Hope you like it, I really want to do more things like this. Just have to buy something that can film first.. :)

The ocean is the most wonderful place on earth. Wish I could live near it.

Probably the best movie I've ever seen. On of the most horrible, sad and happy movies, all at the same time. This movie really got me thinking, and that it's based on a true story is just greater. The movie is about the mountain climber Aron Ralstone (played by James Franco) and when he 2003, while canyoneering gets stuck between a boulder and the canyon wall. It's about his fight for survival. He didn't tell anyone where he was going and he knew that no-one would search for him.

127 hours, more than five days, with barely any water, any hope and he is assumed he is going die. Eventually he ran out of water. He carved in his name in the rock and date of birth with his pocket knife in the canyon wall and videotaped his goodbyes to his family. He prepares to amputate his arm, but realizes that he would never be able to cut trough the bones with just his pocket knife. But in the end, he survives. But free from the rock dosn't mean its all over. He is still out in the middle of nowhere, no cellphone, dehydrated and risk bleeding to death, 27 kilometers from his vehicle..

This feels sooooo long ago... It was last year, maybe thats why.

And because the person is missed very much...

 

 

Death Of An Innocent

 

I went to a party, mom, I remember what you said.
You told me not to drink, mom, so I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, mom, even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, mom, I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, mom, as everyone is driving out of site.
As I got into my car, mom, I knew I would get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me, mom, so responsible and sweet.

I stared to drive away, mom, but I pulled out into the road, 
The other car didn’t see me, mom, and hit me like a load. 
As I lay here on the payment, mom, I hear the policeman say, 
The other guy is drunk, mom, and now I’m the one who will pay.

I’m lying here dying, mom, I wish you’d get here soon.
How could this happen to me, mom? My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, mom, and most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, mom, I’ll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, mom, I swear I didn’t drink.
It was the others, mom. The others didn’t think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank and I will die.

Why do people drink, mom? It can ruin your whole life.
I’m feeling sharp pains now, mom, pains just like a knife.
The guy that hit me is walking, mom, I don’t think it is fair.
I’m lying here dying, mom, and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, mom, tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to haven, mom, put “daddy’s girl” on my grave.
Someone should have told him, mom, not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, mom, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting short, mom, I’m becoming very scared.
Please don’t cry for me, mom. When I need you, you were always there.

I have one last question, mom, before I say good bye.
I didn’t drink and drive, mom, so why am I the one to die?

- Author unknown

pictures from last summer | Glimmerns Survivor - Gaston, 1 day - 8 months

More to come!

It was quite beautiful outside today when it snowed with a shining sun, so me and my dogs got out and I brought my camera with me. Can you tell from the photos that Cinnamon (the brown one) is completely crazy about snow? He dives in the high snow, as if his life depended on it, just to save his little ball. My cutie. ♥

Can't stand it anymore.. :(

I am spending this Valentine's day alone.. All by myself. But I guess I'm not that lonely after all. Last night I talked to my friend, and when it approached midnight we counted down and wiched each other a happy valentine's day. ♥

I miss this crazy person. ♥ Why does my friends need to live thousand miles away so I almost never see them..?

Not everything about the winter is bad, sometimes it's really beautiful outside. ♥

Is it ever going to be warm and colorful again?

I torture myself with looking at some of my pictures from last summer...

Which is your favorite season? Mine is definitely the summer, when you feel free to do anything and can just be.. Long summer nights with people you love, spending time on the beach, go swimming and that it's just warm and you don't have to put hundred layers of clothing on so you don't freeze to death..

I hate the winter, though I have my birthday and christmas in the wintertime, I really hate it. I always feel isolated and down when the snow comes. And just when I thought the spring was on it's way, it snows a shitload so now it back on square one again to melt everything down.

Gaah, going mad here! Someone please take me far away?

Yesterday I photographed a family - a mom with a five year old son and two months old twins. It was really fun and I got many really beautiful pictures of them that I like. So wonderful family.

I locked my blog for a while, just because I got sick of it and it didn't cooperate with me. A few people got a bit worried but now it's open and normal again.

Some of my favorite photos I took last summer. I would do anything to have summer right now, or just leave the snow and coldness..

fuckit.